A Tribute

I've been scared to post anything about my current sunshine state of mind because of the massive clouds that are still in sight.  In fact, it's been difficult to even write in my personal journal because I'm too afraid to glance at what I had written previously and burst with those similar emotions.  But here it is.  It's time to take a chance.

In February 2013, Brett and I went to the Temple.  While driving home I told Brett, "I need to tell you something..." In the temple, I had the distinct impression that it was our time to start trying to have a family.  Turns out he had received the same exact revelation.   We went home, prayed together, and threw away the birth control.

For me, this was crazy!  Since before I can remember, the plan was to go to BYU and graduate.  Once I did that, I could have as many babies as I wanted.  I could walk in commencement 9 months pregnant but I would not have a child before I graduated. Not to mention all the terrible stereotypes surrounding BYU women that I didn't want to fulfill. 

Turns out God had different plans.  Brett and I were ready to test our faith and trust in Him. 

By July, Brett and I were planning on welcoming our own little baby Mecham into the family at the end of March.  We were so excited!  We told our closest friends and family about our happy news.  Every night I wrote about every wonderful development.  I made choices that focused on this child and not my personal desires.  Life was wonderful.  

On September 8th, life was terrible. 

I came home from a great day at church and found what no hopeful parent wishes to see.  That bright red awful mess of blood where it shouldn't be.  I called my mom and cried like I never have before while she comforted me.  Brett came home to find me crumpled up, unable to do anything but gasp out tears. I tried to stay positive but it was too much blood. We went to the ER and they confirmed my fears.  

Miscarriage. 

The emotional pain, not to mention the physical pain, of a miscarriage is far beyond what I ever imagined.  It was horrific.  I spent hours upon hours curled in a ball, clutching my stomach, shaking from the pain, and throwing up.  The emotional pain still hasn't gone away.  2 months after it happened, I was sitting in church and began crying so much that I had to head home. It was rough to say the least. 

I don't know why it happened and I don't want to put a silver lining onto something so horrific.  I couldn't begin to understand why God would ask me to make this life-changing decision only to take it away from me.  All I know is that I trust Him.  

As March approaches, I can't help but think of the little one that would have been joining us soon.  I personally don't believe that my first pregnancy was ever a baby, but just a bunch of cells that went wrong.  Nevertheless, the hopes, the dreams, the idea of my little baby was crushed into a million pieces.  My body was broken and beaten.  Thinking of what could have been breaks my heart.  It also breaks my heart as I think of those who have been through the same thing: my mother, aunts, and grandma included.  I think of those who yearn for a little one of their own but it is not a possibility, and then my heart breaks a little more for them.  

I'm so grateful.   

I'm grateful for the family and friends in my life who didn't say anything but just brought me hugs, dinner, dessert, and conversation in a time when I needed to feel loved.  

I'm grateful for the women in my life who have gone through so much so that we, the human race, could be here.  

I'm grateful for a husband who could give me a blessing, rub my back, cry with me, and clean up after me.  

I'm grateful for the compassion of my professors and classmates when I needed special circumstances. 

I'm grateful for God's timing, even when it breaks our heart, because everything is working out perfectly.
 
I'm grateful to be surrounded by the healing power of music everyday.  These are the lyrics to a song we sang in Concert Choir right after my miscarriage.  Through all the terror, I have felt like this experience has been a fire of restoration.  It is His grace that carries us through our trials and into the sunlight on the other side.  

Sunlight shines on my face;

This is my grace, to be

Restored, born again,

In flame!

When I was young I flew in the velvet night;

Shining by day, a firebird bathed in light!

Grey now my feathers, which once were red and gold;

My destiny to soar up to the Sun. 

Sunlight shines on my face;

This is my grace, to be

Restored, born again,

In flame!

Do not despair that I am gone away;

I will appear again

When the sunset paints

Flames across the vast eternal sky.

Most importantly, I'm so grateful that I can expect to see this new little son in July. I felt him move this past weekend for the first time and felt so much joy.  I'm a lucky woman to have a wonderful husband and the ability to bare a child of my own.  It is a miracle. 

Kickball: Bad News Follows Come-From-Behind Draw for 169

I think my husband is pretty funny and ingenious so I wanted to share it with you.  Here is his mock-article he wrote up about our Kickball Game last Tuesday:

BAD NEWS FOLLOWS COME-FROM-BEHIND DRAW FOR 169

The office was riding high on emotion last Tuesday night as they prepped for their second match of the season. After an impressive showing in their first game, the competitors hoped that small amount of experience would pay off. Boy did it ever!

Intimidation may have played a factor in the first two innings as 169 failed to get a runner home – leaving the score 5-0 in favor of the much more athletic BLAZERS. But the kicking came alive for the team as everyone was able to keep the ball low on the ground and move runners around the bases. Mike Holman, making his debut on the office team, added great insurance in the field as he made several diving catches. “We exhibited a high level of emotion and competition tonight it feels like,” said Hailey Hamblin. “But it was always encouraging and uplifting. We built each other up. We left the game tonight still as friends. Those other guys – they want to kill each other right now!”

This is true. Frustration seemed to boil over for the Blazers who for three straight innings, stranded runners on all the bases without effectively capitalizing on the scoreboard. The office was able to come back from being down by 5 twice in the game to eventually lead by one run going into the final inning. Another stout defensive effort kept the Blazers to just two runs and as the Office entered the bottom half of the inning with the tieing run on base, victory seemed almost assured. Some unfortunate plays resulted in just that lone run being scored, as Parker Wilkinson, the team’s final kicker was unable to make it pass third before being tagged out.

The Office celebrated after the draw – recognizing the major strides they had made individually and as a team  - and thoughts immediately turned to their next game which will kick off TUESDAY night at 6:15 against “CAN I CALL YOU SCOTT”. But it wasn’t long after the team left the field that unfortunate news was confirmed.

Sources have confirmed that Wilkinson has been suspended from play due to an Honor Code Infraction***. Team captain, Brett Mecham, had this to say regarding the suspension:

“Ya know, it’s just disappointing. He had been doing so well. He had just gotten a haircut even. Just doing everything right. We don’t know the details of what may have happened, but we want him to know that we are all behind him and will support him every step of the way. He will be missed on Tuesday.”

(For video footage of Mecham’s initial response to the news of Parker’s suspension, view this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHh0rf0ojEc )

Wilkinson will have a disciplinary hearing with Cecil during the game on Tuesday, but will then immediately be allowed to appeal the suspension. During the appeal process, Wilkinson will be allowed to rejoin the team until a decision has been reached in April of 2018.

***(Parker is actually teaching Piano lessons. 2 Claps for Parker)

GAME DETAILS

DATE: Tuesday, September 24^th

TIME: 6:15 pm

LOCATION: FIELD #1

JERSEYS: IBA APPARRELL

Upcoming Games:

Saturday, September 28^th 9:15 am

Thursday, October 3^rd 6:15 pm

Brett Mecham

Student Accountant

Conferences and Workshops

169 HCEB

Brigham Young University

Provo, UT 84604

Where it all Began: England Day 7

Sadly, it was our last day in England.  We decided to end our trip back where it all began: the Preston MTC.  First we checked in to the Temple Accomodations (only £14 to stay the night!) which is right across from the MTC.

Then we headed straight to the temple for lunch and to do a session inside.  The grounds were absolutely gorgeous.

This afternoon, we headed to Chatburn's River Ribble.  This is the river that they baptized the first converts in England back in 1837.  It's now more of a stream, but it was a neat little place nevertheless.

For our last visit, we headed over the hill to Downham. Here's a description of the place by Brett:

In 1837, Elder Heber C. Kimball was called to lead a mission to England. He was told that the people of the Preston area were too stubborn and obstenate and that for 30 years, ministers of different faiths had unsuccessfully tried to establish congregations. Elder Kimball had much success - baptizing over 30 people his first night in the area, and baptizing an average of 50 people every week for 8 months (many in the River Ribble). Many spiritual experiences occurred here at Downham where on his final day before journeying home, Elder Kimball was met by over 700 saints by this bridge where they took off his their hats, sang and honoured the efforts of Elder Kimball.

When Elder Kimball reported to Joseph Smith about the spirit he felt and the amazing success he had in England, the Prophet told him that it was because ancient prophets and apostles had once walked on that land and dedicated it for the preaching of the gospel in the Latter-Days. My mission President told us that it is believed that it was the apostle Timothy who made his way up to England. There is also an English tradition that says when Christ was in his youth, he traveled with his uncle, Joseph of Arimathea, to England for trading purposes.

The End.

Special surprise of the day! While by the river in Downham, we saw a bunch of little tiny ducklings.  They were so cute and fuzzy!!!

A wonderful last day in England.  We are so sad to leave tomorrow.

Homeless Buddies: England Day 6

This morning we visited Chatsworth House, where Mr. Darcy's home is filmed in the Keira Knightly version of Pride and Prejudice.   Here are a few pictures of the inside of the house.

REAL Coronation chairs.
Also, the texture on the wall is not just paint,
 it was textured and poked out like that.
Absolutely gorgeous.

One of my favorite sculptures: The Veiled Woman 

Next up: pictures of the Gardens.

Cool little fountain tree that would be awesome to run in during the summer.

Rock Garden

You can see Chatsworth in the right hand side through the trees.

We decided to have a race through the hedge maze.

I won!

Next up....

.... STICK RACE.

Brett couldn't throw his in the stream.  I WIN!!!!!! :D

Who needs Mr. Darcy when you have this handsome man?

Brett being a duck.

Next stop: Sheffield.

Once upon a time while Brett was serving a mission, 
I looked up his flat address on google earth 
and photoshopped Marah and myself onto the street beneath his flat. 
 I sent this picture to him.

In response, he made my Valentines Day by sending this one back.

And today we got to take this awkward photo standing on the very street together.

After Sheffield, we headed to York.  Yes the old York for which New York is named after. It was quite the experience.  The wind about knocked us over, tourists crowded the streets, and parking was horrendous. But at least we got these awesome pictures.

Shambles.  Where the buildings have started leaning in so much, they're almost touching.
It reminded me of Diagon Alley.

Cool shoemaker robot that Brett particularly liked.

Guy Fawkes' birth place.

York Minister.

Best part of our York experience: getting mistaken as homeless people.

The story goes, we really wanted Drake's Fish and Chips so we grabbed some to eat as we walked to see York Minster. Since it was so extremely windy and cold, we decided to take refuge in the Alley and eat on a door step. As we're sitting there, a homeless guy runs up to us and excitedly tells us to go get some free sandwiches as some shop. He was just trying to look out for his fellow homeless mates.  It was hilarious.  Do we look homeless to you?

To finish off our day, we headed back to Leeds for dinner at Masala Hut (the BEST Indian food) with Rose and Joan.  

It's been such a lovely experience being here see so many neat sites and meeting so many wonderful friends.  We're not looking forward to going home on Wednesday... AT ALL.

p.s. Brett fell asleep today and started singing in his sleep while I drove.  It is hilarious, not the best filming since I was driving.  You can watch it on facebook.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151910616288378&set=vb.788363377&type=3&theater