Jack Emery Mecham

This is the story of the most Wonderful thing that came to me: Jack Emery Mecham.

On Tuesday, July 1st, my mother-in-law and family wanted to do a quick mini-shower for me.  I had had my 37 week check up the day before and was already dilated to 4cm and completely effaced. On the way to work, I said to Brett, "I think today is the day." Not that I had had any contractions up to this point.  I never even felt a Braxton Hick the whole pregnancy.  But this day, I felt morning sick again.  I was even going to leave work early because I was just not feeling well and wanted to get a nap in before the shower.

Regardless of feeling sick, I made it through work. I went home and met Kathy, Randi, Grandma Myrn, and Rachelle at my place.  I showed off Jack's nursery.  Then we met Denise and Payton at the Spaghetti Factory for lunch and presents!  We had a wonderful time.

On our way out, I was walking and thought I had peed my pants a little (thank you bladder!) or was just super sweaty from sitting down the whole time.  In my head I was super embarrassed and ready to get home and go to the bathroom.

Kathy, Grandma, and Randi walked me and Jack's presents into the house.  We gave hugs and said goodbye.  On their way out, Randi said, "Mom, we should just get a hotel up here in case Jack comes."  I replied, "Randi, if you get a hotel, Jack will wait 3 more weeks to come but if you go home, he will come tonight!  That's just how it works."

Once they left, I rushed into the bathroom to see the damage done by my squished bladder.  The second I looked at my pants my heart started rushing.  I kept saying, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" There was a huge circle of water in my pants that was not made by urine.  After flipping out and trying to get a hold of my mom to make sure I wasn't crazy, I quickly called Kathy. "I think you need to turn around.... I'm pretty sure my water broke!"  Randi had been right about the hotel after all.

On their way back to get me, I called Brett.
Me- "Hey!"
Brett- "Hey! What's up?"
"Your mom is going to pick you up from work."
"Oh! Where are we going?"
"Well, she's going to pick you up.... Then you're going to come and pick me up... And then we're going to the hospital!"

Then I called Aunt Allyson to let her know to come to the hospital.  After all the preliminary phone calls, I called my doctors office just to make sure I wasn't crazy for going to the hospital. They didn't think I was crazy! YIPPEE.

Kathy drove Brett and me in the Versa to the hospital and dropped us off at the front doors around 5pm. Brett and I walked in freaking out and super giddy. I wasn't in any pain so I felt really stupid but off we went to Labor and Delivery.  On our way in, the dentist called to remind us of our appointments for the next day.  I had to tell her, "Well... we're in the hospital on our way to have a baby right now so we're going to have to reschedule!"

They admitted me into a room where a nurse came in to make sure it was my water that broke, not a leak of something else. We waited very impatiently.  The whole time I'm thinking, "We're stupid! We're just too excited for Jack to get here!  It isn't amniotic fluid. Oh crap, I've embarrassed myself by crying wolf!" And on it went.  FINALLY the nurse came strolling back in with fluid bags and an IV.  I knew what that meant: WE WERE GOING TO HAVE OUR BABY!  I was so so happy! It WAS amniotic fluid that leaked!

Around 6pm, the nurse started me on Pitocin which started labor.  At this point, I was dilated to a 4+.  Aunt Allyson, Kathy, Doug, Grandma Myrn, Randi, and Nathan were all with us in the hospital.  We just had a little party! Once the labor pains started kicking in, the nurse called the Anesthesiologist for my Epidural.  My sweet sweet Epidural. Being pain free was the absolute best.

At one point, it stopped working on one side of my body.  I remember telling everyone, "No I'm just feeling pressure!"  But by the time the nurse came in, I was in PAIN with each contraction. They moved me around to my other side and THANKFULLY it began to work on BOTH sides of my body.  With my Epidural, the whole "Labor" part was awesome!  I kept saying time and time again, "This is the best thing ever!  I get to hang out with my family, eat flavored ice chips, and meet my baby!"

But then the "Delivery" part hit.

Around Midnight, they had measured me at 10cm!! YAY!  The nurse told me that we would let the baby rest and descend for 1.5 hours. Cool with me - I wasn't in any pain. We took bets when the baby would be here.  We were all saying 2am, 2:15, 2:30.  We thought for sure the baby would be here before Aunt Allyson's guess of 3:30am.

She won the guessing, although it was a bit off still.  :/

The nurse came back in at 2:30 (an hour past when she had originally said) and finally had me start pushing.  I worked and worked and worked and worked and worked. With every push, I would think, THIS IS GOING TO BE IT!  And then with every push I would be sorely disappointed.  This continued for 3 hours with the nurse and resident.  At this point, I had been pushing so long, my arms were unable to hold up my legs any longer.  In between breaks, my body was chilling so badly I couldn't stop shaking so Brett and Kathy had to help hold me to calm the shakes. I had a high fever so they pumped me full of anitbiotics. I was super nauseated, so they gave me some Zofran. FINALLY they called my doctor.  Plus, these whole three hours I'm feeling the uncomfortable urge to bear down.

When the doctor got in around 5:30am, she gave me the tough love pep talk I needed to hear. I had three options:
1. Push this baby out. (Like I wasn't trying already...)
2. Vaccum him out. She didn't want to do this because that would be bad because he already had a huge sore on his head from pushing so long.
3. C-Section.
In the meantime, she had the nurse turn off my Epidural to get me "feeling more".  Then I started pushing again.

After pushing for another hour, it was clear he wasn't getting pushed out without help. By this point I'm feeling everything and in tears. I was so physically tired, very sleep deprived, and emotionally drained from the decreasing hope and increasing disappointment that with the next push he'd come out. Somewhere in all this I got an episiotomy which scared me more than anything for some reason.  They got the vacuum and I honestly don't remember much else because I was in so much pain at this point.   What I do remember was at one point everyone had their hands on me whether it was for comfort, support, help, or all of those things. I had one person on each side holding my hands and back and two more holding my legs. With a few more very painful pushes, screaming, crying, and the help of the vacuum, Jack Emery Mecham was born.

After 11 hours of labor, 4 of those spent pushing, he was here on July 2, 2014 at 6:51am. He weighed 8lbs and was 20in long.

I remember being in shock from the delivery but the doctor put Jack right on my chest after he came out. You sometimes hear the first time a mom holds her baby being described as hearing angelic glorious music playing. That's not what this was like. Holding my little guy gave me an unspeakable comfort in knowing that he was here, he was safe, he was mine, all the while a terrible screaming emo band of pain and shock were playing in the background. All that mattered now was that I had him!  My little guy. My little Jack.  Brett was holding me, I was holding Jack, and Jack had his little hand grasped around my finger. It was a snapshot of perfection until the shock and pain of what happened and was currently happening with my body hit again. But that little glimpse got me through the rest.

After they cleaned everything up, they moved us down a floor and into a smaller room.  At 10am in the morning, I let them finally take Jack away from me and told them to look after him while I slept.  After fifteen minutes, I was crying in my room wanting him to come back so badly.  My brain also kept going over that miserable last two hours of pushing and delivery.  A huge rush of gratitude for my Savior came over me as I felt his comforting love that he knew my pain.  I needed someone who truly understood my specific labor pain.  In that moment I knew that He knew.  I also thought about how at my worst point of delivery, everyone had their hands on me for support and comfort.  How many times in ours lives have their been the hands of angels, helping us to get through whatever trial we face?  How many hands have lifted our heads and held our hands?  I was and still am so grateful for my angels. This was the best kind of trial because it was short and has a happy ending.  With the help, support, and comfort of my loved ones, Jack Emery Mecham can now be a part of our little family.

There's No Crying in Baseball!

Hello world!

I actually made something for Jack's room and I thought I could share. 

I printed it on off white card-stock and put it in a red frame that I already had.  

We can't paint the walls of our rental but this adds a great splash of color to the dull walls!

The file is made for a 8.5x11 frame.

Click here to download pdf!

Click here to download jpeg!

Enjoy.  :)

The Spam Stigma

I have a problem with a stigma that is widespread in the U.S.

SPAM.

Go ahead. Make your grossed out, gagging face.  Shudder a little if you have to.

Now that you've got that out of your system, listen for a minute.

Spam is go–

No stop!  No more gagging.  Just hear me out.  I even have a funny story but you have to stop making that face.  Thank you.

Spam is good.   

We have this favorite family casserole.  The name had to be changed in order to stop people from pre-judging it. Spasserole! Also know as Spam Casserole. It is easily one of my favorite meals.

Once upon a time, back when Brett and I were engaged, I decided to make Spasserole for dinner.  I served it to my roommates and fiancé without telling them what was in it.  Everyone chowed down and complimented the tasty meal.  When everyone was done eating I fessed up, "Everyone... I have to tell you something. You just ate Spam."

I had never seen Brett so mad at me in my life, nor have I seen him as mad at me since. He had a look of utter shock and disgust mixed with rage pasted on his face.

The conversation picked back up among my roommates but Brett just sat there. His face slowly turned from rage to shock to curiosity.  After about 10 minutes, he picked up a piece of spam left in the dish and began examining the little square closely.  After another few minutes, he mustered up the courage and popped it in his mouth.  You could see him doing an analysis of the spam as he slowly chewed it.  Then he declared, "Okay, spam is good!"

He's been a convert to Spam ever since.

If you don't believe Brett's conversion story, just ask my Hawaii buddies.  In Hawaii, we will eat it for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  McDonalds even sells it on their breakfast menu.  Brett's favorite meal is Spam and Cabbage.  Where did we get that recipe?  Hawaii.  And if you've never had a Spam Musubi, your taste buds are seriously missing out. 

YUM!!!

You're still skeptical.  I can see that.  You're worried about whatever strange processed parts they've thrown into that square of pre-cooked meat.  Let me tell you a little secret... it's the shoulder of a pig and leftover scraps of ham... which is still pig.  Then they mix salt, water, potato starch sugar, and sodium nitrite.  That's it.  Nothing mysterious about it.  What we get is a tasty preserved meat that works great as a canned food item.   My family has even been to the Spam Museum in Minnesota.  There was nothing strange or gross about how they get Spam.  (And it was a lot of fun too! Check it out!)  The reason why Spam was created was because they didn't want to waste perfectly good parts of the pig after it was sliced into other things. 

 

My fellow Americans, it is time to get rid of the Spam Stigma.  Put your big kid panties on, open your mouth, and give Spam a chance!

If you're too wimpy to risk a taste, I've had enough of your sour-faced judgements.  Didn't your mother ever tell you, "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it"?

If you try it and don't like it, that's fine, we all have our preferences.

If you do like it, HIP-HIP-HOORAY!  Share this blog and keep the love for Spam growing. Then come over for breakfast and we can eat Eggs & Spam together.












Spasserole Recipe
2 C. Macaroni, cooked
2 Cans Cream of Celery Soup
1 Can Spam, diced
1 can Diced Tomatoes
1 Green Pepper, diced
1/4 C. Chopped Onions
Parsley Flakes
Cheese to Taste

Brown onion and pepper in a little butter.  Combine onion and pepper in a large bowl with cooked Macaroni, soup, spam, tomatoes, pepper, and onions. Pour into 9x13 pan.  Sprinkle with cheese and parsley flakes. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until bubbly.

Baby Mecham: All you Wanted (or Didn't Want) to Know

I get asked a lot of questions and I haven't been the best at social media for this pregnancy.  I thought it was time to blog!  Here are some of the common questions I have been asked.  

When are you due?
July 19th. We're currently at 21 weeks and 5 days. So close, yet so far!

Boy or girl?
Boy!  I was definitely hoping for a girl, especially since I was raised the oldest of 4 girls.  I know how to do "girl".  So when we found out it was a boy I was a little scared.   Nevertheless, I have a bunch of awesome brothers-in-law who constantly discuss his "training".  Between them, my mother-in-law, and Brett, I am no longer worried.

Names?
Jack Emery Mecham

Jack just because we like the name. We went through a ton of names and liked it the best.  We thought it works for a cute little boy but is also super manly (like Jack Bauer). 

Emery since Brett and I met when I moved to Emery County and because it's where both of our families are from.  We also really like it for a name. For a long time we wanted to use it as a first name but liked it better for a middle name.

Have you been sick?
The first trimester wasn't too bad.  I felt nauseated and struggled to eat.  I didn't lose any weight but I also didn't gain anything.  Once I hit 13 weeks, I started hurling all the time.  It was worse too because they tell you morning sickness ends at the second trimester but I became MORE sick. Throwing up became a normal thing for a couple weeks.  Finally, around 18 weeks it went away and I've been feeling pretty good ever since. 

Have you felt him move?
YES!  It is the best.  I first felt him move (for sure) around 17 weeks.  I love it.  I just put my hand on my stomach during class or when I lie in bed and imagine when I'll get to hold him in my arms. It always makes me smile.   Brett has also gotten to feel Jack move a couple times.  Those are some special moments. 

Do you have to pee all the time?
I already had this problem before pregnancy.  In fact, I had an appointment to go see my doctor to get some medicine to help when I found out I was pregnant.  You can't take that medicine when you're pregnant so I'm just dealing how I always have.

Last week in my 3 hour class, we didn't get a break and I was majorly stressing out about needing to go to the bathroom.  Being pregnant made it more fun as I felt little Jack start kicking my bladder!  Even though I may begin to find it stressful and annoying in the coming weeks, I loved it.  It made me laugh and reminded me that my little guy is in there. 

Do people touch your stomach all the time now?
I get this question a lot and so far the answer is no.  I only have one friend who has done that and it wasn't weird or anything. I appreciate this though because I'm not good at touchy stuff but I'm getting better.  If you consider us good friends, I give you permission to ask.

Do you have body aches and pains?
My back now struggles because I sleep completely differently. My hips started aching way early on.  I recently began to struggle with getting out of low seats because your body is just different and awkward! Nothing is too bad yet but I always have Tylenol on me and I really miss Advil.

Ultrasound experiences?
We've had three ultrasounds so far.  I've had two early ones because I was experiencing spotting. At the second one at 15 weeks we were surprised to find out we were having a little boy!

Everything is progressing properly.  His head is a little big in comparison to the average but I said, "I'm not worried about that. Goldings have big heads.  They wanted to take my sister in for a CAT scan when she was first born but it's just how we are." The tech was no longer worried after that. I think it's so cute that he has that same characteristic.  Aren't genetics amazing?

When do you graduate?
Sometimes I find this question a little rude because I think of all the implications behind it, so here's the answer: December 2014.  I'm currently taking my last semester of classes.  This Fall, I will be doing my student teaching.  I know it will be a really hard semester to leave my precious little baby at home but I want that degree!  I've worked really hard for it.

Also, we've received a little blessing from God to help ease the financial burden a little.  My friend Rikki just had a baby boy and will be doing her student teaching the semester after me.  For 8 months, we'll be doing a little baby swap.  First she'll watch Jack while I student teach and then I'll watch her baby while she student teaches.  When we first figured this out, I was in tears because I was so happy and thankful for how everything was working out.
 
Is there anything else you're dying to know?  Just ask!

A Tribute

I've been scared to post anything about my current sunshine state of mind because of the massive clouds that are still in sight.  In fact, it's been difficult to even write in my personal journal because I'm too afraid to glance at what I had written previously and burst with those similar emotions.  But here it is.  It's time to take a chance.

In February 2013, Brett and I went to the Temple.  While driving home I told Brett, "I need to tell you something..." In the temple, I had the distinct impression that it was our time to start trying to have a family.  Turns out he had received the same exact revelation.   We went home, prayed together, and threw away the birth control.

For me, this was crazy!  Since before I can remember, the plan was to go to BYU and graduate.  Once I did that, I could have as many babies as I wanted.  I could walk in commencement 9 months pregnant but I would not have a child before I graduated. Not to mention all the terrible stereotypes surrounding BYU women that I didn't want to fulfill. 

Turns out God had different plans.  Brett and I were ready to test our faith and trust in Him. 

By July, Brett and I were planning on welcoming our own little baby Mecham into the family at the end of March.  We were so excited!  We told our closest friends and family about our happy news.  Every night I wrote about every wonderful development.  I made choices that focused on this child and not my personal desires.  Life was wonderful.  

On September 8th, life was terrible. 

I came home from a great day at church and found what no hopeful parent wishes to see.  That bright red awful mess of blood where it shouldn't be.  I called my mom and cried like I never have before while she comforted me.  Brett came home to find me crumpled up, unable to do anything but gasp out tears. I tried to stay positive but it was too much blood. We went to the ER and they confirmed my fears.  

Miscarriage. 

The emotional pain, not to mention the physical pain, of a miscarriage is far beyond what I ever imagined.  It was horrific.  I spent hours upon hours curled in a ball, clutching my stomach, shaking from the pain, and throwing up.  The emotional pain still hasn't gone away.  2 months after it happened, I was sitting in church and began crying so much that I had to head home. It was rough to say the least. 

I don't know why it happened and I don't want to put a silver lining onto something so horrific.  I couldn't begin to understand why God would ask me to make this life-changing decision only to take it away from me.  All I know is that I trust Him.  

As March approaches, I can't help but think of the little one that would have been joining us soon.  I personally don't believe that my first pregnancy was ever a baby, but just a bunch of cells that went wrong.  Nevertheless, the hopes, the dreams, the idea of my little baby was crushed into a million pieces.  My body was broken and beaten.  Thinking of what could have been breaks my heart.  It also breaks my heart as I think of those who have been through the same thing: my mother, aunts, and grandma included.  I think of those who yearn for a little one of their own but it is not a possibility, and then my heart breaks a little more for them.  

I'm so grateful.   

I'm grateful for the family and friends in my life who didn't say anything but just brought me hugs, dinner, dessert, and conversation in a time when I needed to feel loved.  

I'm grateful for the women in my life who have gone through so much so that we, the human race, could be here.  

I'm grateful for a husband who could give me a blessing, rub my back, cry with me, and clean up after me.  

I'm grateful for the compassion of my professors and classmates when I needed special circumstances. 

I'm grateful for God's timing, even when it breaks our heart, because everything is working out perfectly.
 
I'm grateful to be surrounded by the healing power of music everyday.  These are the lyrics to a song we sang in Concert Choir right after my miscarriage.  Through all the terror, I have felt like this experience has been a fire of restoration.  It is His grace that carries us through our trials and into the sunlight on the other side.  

Sunlight shines on my face;

This is my grace, to be

Restored, born again,

In flame!

When I was young I flew in the velvet night;

Shining by day, a firebird bathed in light!

Grey now my feathers, which once were red and gold;

My destiny to soar up to the Sun. 

Sunlight shines on my face;

This is my grace, to be

Restored, born again,

In flame!

Do not despair that I am gone away;

I will appear again

When the sunset paints

Flames across the vast eternal sky.

Most importantly, I'm so grateful that I can expect to see this new little son in July. I felt him move this past weekend for the first time and felt so much joy.  I'm a lucky woman to have a wonderful husband and the ability to bare a child of my own.  It is a miracle.